The Box.

Wow. Life is all about  learning, and let me tell you what... I have been doing that all over the place recently  I have been abundantly blessed in my life, and although it was not in the way I thought or wanted, it was in the way I needed. 

I have been reading a book subtitled, "Twelve Keys to Finding Peace" by Ester Rasband. Surprising? I know. I don't normally read, but I am reading this for a class it blew my mind. I love how my major helps me learn about dealing with human nature effectively. The following changed my view of life and the Atonement completely.

An LDS missionary serving in Canada. She comes in to talk to the mission president's wife. She starts saying how she is tired and doesn't think she can keep going. The mission mom tells her to take a day off, to make sure she doesn't get sicker. Then she replies, "How much more can I give Him (Heavenly Father)? I am practically all used up." Then the mission mom said this:

"The way you're doing things right now, it's as if you're writing huge checks to the Lord from your adequate bank account. He appreciates them and all that. He's putting the money to good use. But what He really wants is the box you keep under your bed. The one with the rock you found at the beach of your favorite day of all time, and the silly safety pin your boyfriend gave you that day he told you he loved you. Until the Lord has that box, it will never be enough. It will never be enough because that box is the symbol that there is something you hold more dear than Him. Your need is to give Him that box. If and when you can do that, the measuring will stop. You will feel Him telling you when it is enough, and the peace will descend."

I think this hit home to me so much because I often feel this way. I have school, leadership positions, church callings, family things, roommate things, social pressures, cleaning my room, doing my homework, making sure I do my laundry and feeding myself, work, dating, fears of the future, student loans,  working out, teaching 4th grade, doing things I love, visiting teaching, my own weaknesses, friendships. I stop short sometimes and ask why I am doing it all. After a day is gone, I feel no peace in what I had just done. My load seemed too heavy and unnecessary   Sometimes the hopeless thought of, "Why keep trying?" enters my mind. My load is not your load but the concept behind this is the same: it will seem like God is asking too much of us if we don't give Him that box under our bed. Your box is different than my box, but the concept is once again the same: if we love something/someone more than God, what we give to Him (in our daily efforts) will never be enough. We will never feel the peace of having our lives accepted by Him unless we give Him what is dearest to our hearts.

So as I reflected on my life, I realized what was in my box. Most of the contents seemed trivial, but I decided to give them up anyway. I already feel better, I already feel a life of more acceptance that when I work up this morning.

I realized today that I love teaching Relief Society. I love when the sun shines. I love doing homework when I have time. I love working out. I love talking to other people and eating cookies. There is so much in this life to behold and understand. My love of llamas is still deep and I am excited for Easter with the family and General Conference. I am going to take up rock climbing and bike riding (outside) this summer. My goal is to also get tan and do something I have never done... also, visit the birth state: California.

This temple, and every temple in the world brings peace to the soul

This is me missing the days of baseball in Washington D.C., good things baseball season starts soon....

This girl never ceases to make me laugh. good things she likes to feed ducks with me and enjoys the adventure of going into public with me... haha. yes!